RESPONSIBILITY
An article in the October 1st edition of The New York Times Magazine begins, "In the third century, the rabbis who put together the Talmud instructed fathers to teach their sons to swim." (p.62) Emily Bazelon’s article goes on to explore parenting and Jewish law in some detail but she returns to a discussion of this directive later, "... her point is that kids need more tightly controlled doses of risk. That’s what the Talmud is trying to teach by requiring parents to teach their children to swim, Mogel (a clinical psychologist) argues. The passage has been interpreted as an instruction to pass on the tools of survival. Rabbi Schacter agrees that the larger lesson is that children need to learn to fend for themselves. But that’s not an easy or comfortable process. It involves some flailing and swallowing water." (p. 66)
At LY Swimming, we are actually teaching the kids the tools they will need to become successful competitive swimmers. But let’s face it - VERY FEW swimmers get to go to the Olympics. Very few swimmers even go to the US Olympic Trials - fewer than 1 in 1,000 year round swimmers. Few swimmers reach the National Championships. Not all swimmers have the inherent talent necessary to achieve the most elite levels of swimming. And so for we adults, coaches and parents, I think it is important to be aware of the LARGER LESSONS that swimming teaches, the lessons that will serve our children well throughout their lives. And we also have to be willing to accept some flailing and swallowing of water along the way.
Developing a sense of responsibility begins at an early age. Young swimmers may be expected to keep up with their goggles and towels at practice. When a young swimmer goes to a meet, parents need to allow them to get to the blocks on their own. If they miss their heat, that is ok. No blood has been shed and the swimmer is learning how to get where they need to be. Failing to get there can be part of the learning process. For older swimmers, something like being able to speak directly to the coach when they are having a problem rather than having their parents speak for them is vital to developing a sense of responsibility. Parents and coaches must allow children to fail at things to help them learn important lessons. If parents constantly inject themselves into their kids’ responsibilities and prevent them from ever failing, then they are denying the kids the opportunity to learn valuable life lessons.
Along these same lines, parents and coaches must allow swimmers to set their own goals. Swimmers must learn to understand their limitations, discover their dreams, reach beyond their expectations, without being clouded by adult egos that want to claim credit for themselves and place undue pressure upon their child. Adults need to be supportive of children’s efforts and not be hung up on the times or place that they achieve at meets. At the same time, parents and coaches should not accept excuses for swimmers not doing what is expected of them - at school, at the pool, wherever they might be. Do not allow them to blame someone else for keeping them from success. Being successful includes overcoming obstacles, not casting blame. Swimmers need to be allowed to OWN THEIR SPORT, and they need to accept responsibility for outcomes and learn to overcome failures without making excuses.
Regardless of their speed in the pool, responsible children ARE successful children. As parents, we need to constantly remind ourselves what the important things are that we want our children to take away from their experience at LY Swimming - is it the blue ribbons? Is it the "A" time? Or is it the acquisition of good habits, sportsmanship, self-discipline, self-awareness .... Responsibility is one of the YMCA’s core values. We believe that at LY Swimming, this trait must be exhibited through the coaches and parents first, with the goal of instilling this behavior in to our swimmers. Our collective goal as adults should be to help our children "swim through life" and not get too hung up on the literal swims in competition.
Below is a link to a great article on the benefits and merits of athletic activities for school age children.