by Dr. David Goodman (from the Canadian Mental Health Association)

Are you happy because you are successful or are you successful because you are happy? This is no mere play on words.

The answer has great psychological significance, especially for child training, whether at home or in school.

The answer is that you are successful because you are happy.

Your brain and nervous system are a serving mechanism. They promote whatever idea of yourself you entertain in your mind. If you have a happy, self-confident image of yourself, that’s what they will work to promote. If you have a fearful image of yourself, that will be what they will promote.

Imagination is all. Your imagination makes your fate, and the fate of your children. You can give your children a happy, self-confident image of themselves by affording them love with liberty.

Loved children feel secure, at ease in the universe. They also feel that they are important enough to merit their parents’ affection and praise. If their parents encourage their self-reliance by avoiding the egotistical urge to do for them what they can do for themselves, they will grow up strong, competent, happy adults.

All this is easy, especially if you have a good image of yourself as a parent, but remember always: patronizing isn’t love.